Yesterday, a teacher at my daughter’s preschool told me that she saw two boys and a girl spinning the knobs of a play oven. Boy #1 says: “I’m a pilot! I’m flying a plane.’ Boy #2 says: “Me too!” The girl is quiet, so the teacher says to her: “What about you, are you a pilot?” The 3 year old girl replies: “I can’t be a pilot. I’m a pilot’s wife.”
So what do you think has happened in this little girl’s short life to make her believe it’s more likely that she would be a pilot’s wife than a pilot?"
-‘I’m not a pilot, I’m a pilot’s wife,’ says 3 yr old girl - reelgirl.com (via boysncroptops)
i dont want a boyfriend or girlfriend
i want a faithful dragon companion
when you die and become a ghost are you forced to wear what you were wearing when you died for eternity or can you go to like Ghost Gap and buy some new ghost clothes
if theres ghost capitalism i swear to fuck ill be so mad
overthrow the boogeoisie
The only thing funnier than a pun is the look of utter disappointment, hatred, and/or disbelief from the people around you
the funniest thing in twilight is when bella thinks that the guy she has a crush on might be a vampire so she goes home and just googles the word “vampire” it’s ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation
- Boy: "I love you."
- Me: "I love you too."
- Boy: "How much?"
- Me: "A lot."
- Boy: "More than your favourite band?"
- Me: "Know your limits, bro."
my little sister officially turned 10 yesterday and because i’m in another state i couldn’t see her so i called instead to sing happy birthday and when i was done she whispered “gay” and hung up on me
is that the same sister who put her burned hand on your heart because ‘it was so nice and cold’
that would be the sister